What’s Mine Is Yours | Interview with the writers

What’s Mine Is Yours is one of favorite adoption songs right now.

I have a pretty deep connection to this song and today is the last day for you to enter to win a Born Brave Care Package from Katherine Nelson.


I reached out to the writers of this song and wanted to know how it was born.

I asked them each the same questions and their answers were so interesting!

Here’s what I was wondering…

  • Do you have a connection to infertility, miscarriage or adoption? In other words, what prompted you to write such a powerful song?
  • What is the message you hope will be written on the hearts of those who experience this song?
  • What does the phrase “What’s mine is yours” mean to you in the context of this song?

 

Meet Katherine Nelson and Deanna Harper.

Katherine Nelson

Because I have close family and friends that have shouldered the road to adoption, for one reason or another,  I was compelled to dive into their heartbreak; seeking some form of reconciliation, solace and understanding that overarches the struggles and blessings in their unique, brave path to Motherhood. Being on the other end of the phone with a friend or sister who is in the middle of a miscarriage, or in the many steps of adoption, or loss with children in any way provoked me to want to create a comfort in the only way I knew how.

 

There are so many different ways to apply the message of the song. Most importantly, my hope is that this song helps women in these situations know they are not alone, and that while we can’t always make sense of what’s been handed us it helps to know that someday we might be able to look back and see a bigger picture.

 

The phrase What’s Mine is Yours is representative of the Giver of all gifts, who blesses our lives in miraculous ways. We cannot comprehend the grace and mercy provided in these circumstances and I am forever in awe over how the ‘water is turned to wine’, so to speak. All our children are handed us by God. They are all His to begin with and end with. This song is that red ribbon reminder tied around my finger of the responsaility and blessing that comes from that simple truth.

 
 

Deanna Harper

I had never met Katherine before and wondered if my writing style would mesh with hers.  Would we get along?  Would we have anything in common? The instant I walked in, I felt welcomed, relaxed, and an amazing spirit.  I quickly saw that she was the kind of person who not only sang inspiring songs, but was a beautiful person inside and out.

As we began to talk about her upcoming project, she shared with me her goal of putting together music that supports women.  She has such a respect for other women and their various paths in life.  No one’s path is going to be the same as the next person, but we can be united as women. Not judging, but supporting each other and appreciating our differences.  She told me of some of the people she had encountered while on tour across the nation and their stories of struggle and bravery.

We then talked about various experiences we had personally.   As we are both mothers, the subject turned to our children.  I had thought when I first got married that I would have four or five kids someday.  Which then begged the question, why haven’t you?

I told her of my miscarriages.  There were several of them.  Partially due to having Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome.  In addition to that, I had pretty rough pregnancies.  I’m one of those girls who threw up the entire 9 months and then up to a week after. I also had Toxemia in the last month or two before giving birth.

This past January, I had a tumor removed that was nearly the size of a volley ball, along with my left ovary and left fallopian tube.  So, the odds of having more kids at this point are stacked against me.  Most likely, Heavenly Father knows I’ve got all I can handle and I’ve made my peace with that.

As Katherine listened to my story, a title she had rolling around in her head for a couple of days came to the fore front. . .“What’s Mine Is Yours”.
She asked about the miscarriages.  I explained that the first one, was the hardest. A baby is a gift from God sent down to love, to nurture, to teach, and to learn from. I had made a lot of plans for that little baby, never considering that it might not happen.  I had baby clothes, baby quilts, and the next year planned out in my mind.

When I went to the doctor I was excited to see my little baby on the monitor. Rob had school that day, and I assured him that I would be fine going alone.  I didn’t even know there was anything wrong as they looked on the ultrasound monitor.  I could see the baby and it was an amazing feeling!  I did start to notice how quiet the ultrasound tech was, then she stood up and said, “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go get the doctor.”  I still had no clue anything was wrong.  When the doctor came in, he started to look at the ultrasound, and then said we can’t find the heartbeat.  I’m thinking, “Okay, I’m good laying here as long as you want, cause I can watch my baby”.  But then he just shuts off the monitor and says, “Don’t worry, you’re young, there will be others”.  He left the room and I just sat there trying to understand what was going on.  The nurse asked if she could call anyone for me.  I slowly shook my head.  She then started talking about scheduling me for surgery and it was all a blur.  I drove home, looking and feeling pregnant, but knowing that it was over.  I remember cars driving past, with their stereo’s blaring, and thinking, “Don’t they know something terrible has just happened?”  But life moves on.

I soon came to understand that a lot of women have had this experience.  These same women rarely talk about it.  Feeling strange for caring so much about a baby you never held.  You get pregnant in the summer, your mind thinks, “How far along will I be in the fall?  Where will I be at Christmas?  Can I travel then?  When will the baby be due?  Is it a boy or a girl?  How old will I be when they start kindergarden?”  You cannot help but go there. I know.  Even when I knew my odds for a full term pregnancy were not good, I still would go there, every single time. As those days in the future pass you can’t help but think, “If I was still pregnant, I’d be this far along . . .” or “ today was supposed to be my due date”.   Having a miscarriage is never easy .  . .

When you think of those who can’t have children, your mind often turns to those who adopt, as well as those who have given children up for adoption. Giving a child up is not an easy decision and takes unbelievable bravery.  It is a selfless decision that becomes an answer to many heartfelt prayers offered up by a longing family.

It’s amazing how Heavenly Father works.  I have had some trials in my lifetime that have really tested me. I have had that “thread bare blanket” of  Faith.  I think that what I want people to know and have hope for, is that there is a plan.  That everything has a time and purpose, even if we do not know it or comprehend it in this life.  There is always hope.  We often want to control things, that are in fact, beyond our control.  It seems that when we realize that everything, including our own lives, is a gift from God, we begin to see that he is ever mindful of us.  He knows our struggles and He suffers with us. He loves us more than we can imagine. Life takes faith.  We require a Savior.  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.  As if to say, “What’s Mine Is Yours”.

 

Beautiful. Thank you Katherine and Deanna!

 

Comments

  1. danette says

    I have not listened to this song. I think I am to scared too. Maybe because I just don’t want to cry anymore. I feel like I am in the middle of infertility. I have been pregnant 10 times and I do have 5 beautiful kids. It has been hard to get them here. (Not as hard as some of you have gone through). I am trying yes again for another one. We have been trying for about 14 months. We have had 2 miscarriages in the last 5 months. It has only been 28 days since I lost the last one. I just can’t listen to the song. Hopefully one day.

    I bet it is a really great song.

  2. Becky L. Rose says

    Lindsey, did you watch the video’s about Addie, whose experience this song was about. She lives in Utah and I grew up with her husband. :)

Trackbacks

  1. [...] INTERVIEW: Katherine Nelson and Deanna Harper on The R House with Lindsey Redfern Read Katherine’s and Deanna’s interviews on Lindsey Redfern’s Blog, http://www.TheRHouse.com. Here’s a snippet from Deanna’s interview about her experience writing the song “What’s Mine Is Yours” with Katherine. I had never met Katherine before and wondered if my writing style would mesh with hers. Would we get along? Would we have anything in common? The instant I walked in, I felt welcomed, relaxed, and an amazing spirit. I quickly saw that she was the kind of person who not only sang inspiring songs, but was a beautiful person inside and out. Read more HERE [...]