What’s Mine Is Yours is one of favorite adoption songs right now.
I reached out to the writers of this song and wanted to know how it was born.
I asked them each the same questions and their answers were so interesting!
Here’s what I was wondering…
- Do you have a connection to infertility, miscarriage or adoption? In other words, what prompted you to write such a powerful song?
- What is the message you hope will be written on the hearts of those who experience this song?
- What does the phrase “What’s mine is yours” mean to you in the context of this song?
Meet Katherine Nelson and Deanna Harper.
I had never met Katherine before and wondered if my writing style would mesh with hers. Would we get along? Would we have anything in common? The instant I walked in, I felt welcomed, relaxed, and an amazing spirit. I quickly saw that she was the kind of person who not only sang inspiring songs, but was a beautiful person inside and out.
As we began to talk about her upcoming project, she shared with me her goal of putting together music that supports women. She has such a respect for other women and their various paths in life. No one’s path is going to be the same as the next person, but we can be united as women. Not judging, but supporting each other and appreciating our differences. She told me of some of the people she had encountered while on tour across the nation and their stories of struggle and bravery.
We then talked about various experiences we had personally. As we are both mothers, the subject turned to our children. I had thought when I first got married that I would have four or five kids someday. Which then begged the question, why haven’t you?
I told her of my miscarriages. There were several of them. Partially due to having Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. In addition to that, I had pretty rough pregnancies. I’m one of those girls who threw up the entire 9 months and then up to a week after. I also had Toxemia in the last month or two before giving birth.
This past January, I had a tumor removed that was nearly the size of a volley ball, along with my left ovary and left fallopian tube. So, the odds of having more kids at this point are stacked against me. Most likely, Heavenly Father knows I’ve got all I can handle and I’ve made my peace with that.
As Katherine listened to my story, a title she had rolling around in her head for a couple of days came to the fore front. . .“What’s Mine Is Yours”.
She asked about the miscarriages. I explained that the first one, was the hardest. A baby is a gift from God sent down to love, to nurture, to teach, and to learn from. I had made a lot of plans for that little baby, never considering that it might not happen. I had baby clothes, baby quilts, and the next year planned out in my mind.
When I went to the doctor I was excited to see my little baby on the monitor. Rob had school that day, and I assured him that I would be fine going alone. I didn’t even know there was anything wrong as they looked on the ultrasound monitor. I could see the baby and it was an amazing feeling! I did start to notice how quiet the ultrasound tech was, then she stood up and said, “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go get the doctor.” I still had no clue anything was wrong. When the doctor came in, he started to look at the ultrasound, and then said we can’t find the heartbeat. I’m thinking, “Okay, I’m good laying here as long as you want, cause I can watch my baby”. But then he just shuts off the monitor and says, “Don’t worry, you’re young, there will be others”. He left the room and I just sat there trying to understand what was going on. The nurse asked if she could call anyone for me. I slowly shook my head. She then started talking about scheduling me for surgery and it was all a blur. I drove home, looking and feeling pregnant, but knowing that it was over. I remember cars driving past, with their stereo’s blaring, and thinking, “Don’t they know something terrible has just happened?” But life moves on.
I soon came to understand that a lot of women have had this experience. These same women rarely talk about it. Feeling strange for caring so much about a baby you never held. You get pregnant in the summer, your mind thinks, “How far along will I be in the fall? Where will I be at Christmas? Can I travel then? When will the baby be due? Is it a boy or a girl? How old will I be when they start kindergarden?” You cannot help but go there. I know. Even when I knew my odds for a full term pregnancy were not good, I still would go there, every single time. As those days in the future pass you can’t help but think, “If I was still pregnant, I’d be this far along . . .” or “ today was supposed to be my due date”. Having a miscarriage is never easy . . .
When you think of those who can’t have children, your mind often turns to those who adopt, as well as those who have given children up for adoption. Giving a child up is not an easy decision and takes unbelievable bravery. It is a selfless decision that becomes an answer to many heartfelt prayers offered up by a longing family.
It’s amazing how Heavenly Father works. I have had some trials in my lifetime that have really tested me. I have had that “thread bare blanket” of Faith. I think that what I want people to know and have hope for, is that there is a plan. That everything has a time and purpose, even if we do not know it or comprehend it in this life. There is always hope. We often want to control things, that are in fact, beyond our control. It seems that when we realize that everything, including our own lives, is a gift from God, we begin to see that he is ever mindful of us. He knows our struggles and He suffers with us. He loves us more than we can imagine. Life takes faith. We require a Savior. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son. As if to say, “What’s Mine Is Yours”.
Beautiful. Thank you Katherine and Deanna!