Tyson’s Big Date With His Birth Mom

Feb
4
Feb 4, 2013

We recently spent a month on vacation back east where Mr. R and I are both from.

That’s right, a month. It was glorious and just long enough for us to almost get to do everything we wanted to do.

At the top of the list was spending as much time as we could with Tyson’s birth family.

We had an all-day visit at their home with lots of his extended family, great food and wonderful conversation. They are seriously such a rad family that we are dang lucky to be part of.

It was a perfect day!

Tyson found his air hockey soulmate in his birth grandpa. So much intensity, trash talking ...and just a little bit of cheating. ;) #ukranianroots #openadoption #adoption
Tyson did some trash talking with his birth grandpa. He played with the family dogs and showed us all their tricks. All the boys rocked out on the drums. (One of Tyson’s favorite things to do at their house.)

Tyson and his Nicole. #lovebirds #openadoption #adoption @nicoleanne357
And he got in lots of snuggled with his birth mom–sharing secrets and good looks.

 

However, the event that I was most excited about during our visit was Tyson’s date with his birth mom.

She came to my parents’ house and picked him up. As soon as she rang the doorbell, he ran to her and gave her a huge hug. Then, for possibly the first time in his life, got his shoes and coat on without being asked. He was totally thrilled. 

Although annoyed that I made him stop and take a few photos, he was giddy about their special day. He even got her a poinsettia.

Look who is going on a date with his birthmom tonight. So darling! #Adoption #openadoption

Off they went on an adventure together. An evening of bonding and making memories, sharing a bond that he can only share with her and her with him. I respect that and I honor it. I love it, actually. She is also his mother.

Aside from planning the time and day for him, I wasn’t involved in their date.

I stayed home and didn’t think twice about it.

This is the wish that I have for all my children–that I can be a bridge during their early years in cultivating a relationship with their birth families (by making the effort to stay in lots of contact, keeping promises, etc.) so that when they are older (is 5 considered older? LOL) that they can have their own relationship that does not involve me but is supported by my husband and me.

Not only do I feel like it is my responsibility, I also feel it is my privilege.

Because I love my children so dearly, I dearly love their first families as well.

Tyson showing off the Build-a-Bear he made for his birth mama ...with a light saber of course. Hanging out with her and her awesome family today. @nicoleanne357 #adoption #openadoption
He came home and told me all about it–McDonald’s, even a little Chuck E. Cheese and Build-a-Bear. (This is turning into one of their traditions, I think! Tyson has quite the collection with little recorded messages from his birth mom and she the same from him. Above is the bear he made for her. With a light saber, of course.) He was glowing.

Open adoption, friends. I love it. 

Love this girl to the moon and back. Beautiful, brave and easy-going with a fierce ability to love unconditionally. She is also the #birthmom of my oldest son and an extraordinary example to me. #blessed #adoption #openadoption
 

 

7 Comments

  1. I love this happy post. And she is BEAUTIFUL! :) Glad you guys got to have so much fun back East. Your boys (and you and your husband of course!) are just darling! :) Cute, cute family!

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  2. Oh I love this! My favorite line ” This is the wish that I have for all my children–that I can be a bridge during their early years in cultivating a relationship with their birth families”
    I pray that if/when my husband and I adopt one day we will have such beautiful relationships with our child’s birth family!

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  3. So wonderful..beyond awesome!

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  4. Such a cool story. I think it is awesome how open adoption works in your family. When we adopt I look forward to a healthy open adoption close to the same. I just have to say thank you for all you do in the adoption community even though I do not know you personally.

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  5. Oh, man! Super jealous of a month’s vacation to see fam! Lindsey, you are such an inspiration to me about what an open adoption can look like. Thank you for sharing your story and being such an example. :)

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  6. Lindsey,
    I commend you on this. Tears as I am in a open adoption although I feel lucky when I can take my 8 yr old across the hall to a different store at the mall while my son and her son play together! This is what open adoption is all about!

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  7. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this! I love OPEN adoptions! I am lucky to be able to look to you as an example. I also agree with having the openness as a responsibility but also as a huge Privilege. Thank you for sharing!

    7
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