top 10 things i have learned from blogging

the top 10 things i have learned from blogging

1. there are more people than you are aware that share a similar story as yours. you are not alone. you know what they say about birds of a feather…

2. bloggers are insanely generous people–with their time, their money, their words, their laughter, their expertise, their spirit, their loyalty. (again, i would not have survived 2009 without my readers! i love you to the moon and back.)

3. i don’t need to compare myself with others. i am me and i am enough. my story is enough. that said, it is okay to check your ego at the door and learn from others.

4. stealing is mean. no matter which side you are on, your feelings will get hurt. and there will probably be tears. and most likely rage.

5. facebook has killed blog commenting.

6. people are judgmental online and make assumptions without doing the research. (that’s me judging all you judgmental ones.) unfortunately, this kind of yuck can seep into even the most obscure places–places you thought were safe.

7. people are both nicer and meaner online than they are in real life. this includes me. and just about everyone i know. except maybe jyl and vanessa–they are insanely nice all the time.

8. i don’t need to read hate mail and hate comments.

9. scheduling posts is awesome.

10. writing is my outlet. blogging is my medium. and it has brought so many fabulous opportunities that have enriched my life and that of my family.

the #1 thing that i have NOT learned from blogging: less is more. (let’s face it. brevity is not my forte. it probably never will be.)

the #1 thing my brothers wish blogging will teach me: Capitalizing is OK.

the #1 thing i have improved on since blogging (according to my dad/editor/proofreader):
when to use “mr. r and i” vs. “mr. r and me.”

the #1 thing i hope to learn via blogging: notice the little things. life is in the details. remember them. write them.

the #1 thing i want to tell you about blogging: blog stalking is okay. we all do it. embrace it.

what are the top things blogging has taught you?


  1. Rachel Powell says

    Stalking really is okay. I totally stalk you, and I don't think I've ever met you…your mr. r is to blame though. He told me to. Gave me the link and everything…I just started my blog and had 1 or 2 stalkers. It made me feel special. Is that weird?

  2. Ashley says

    blogging has taught me to look for the laughing parts when i want to cry. i'd rather laugh at myself when writing than feel like breaking my laptop over my knee.

    it's also taught me how SMALL the world really is…. "Oh yeah, you know these people? They're our neighbors…" (LARA, looking at YOU!)

  3. PNRB says

    One thing blogging has taught me is that sharing ideas is like sharing love – the more you share, the more you have! Case in point – I TOTALLY stole your cake idea for my son's birthday. You're a genius and I was desperate – put the toy ON the cake as the decoration, and then they can play with it after…BRILLIANT!! (plus it saves me from trying to carve a cake into the shape Lightening McQueen. That spelled disaster on so many levels.)

  4. mrs. r says

    @PNRB: YESSSSSSSS! i am so glad it worked out! i wanna see pix …you know, so i can steal them for the next b-day!


  5. Becky says

    Hi, I'm a stalker, I just read your "blog stalking is okay" post so I'm not going to apologize. Sorry. Wait. that was an apology. ;) I'm pretty much in love with your blog. Anyway, the top thing that blogging has taught me is that I can actually keep a record of what goes on in my life. I haven't written in my real pen&paper journal in over a year, but my blog is a different story (I haven't written in it much, but it's better then nothing)

    I feel like introducing myself sing I'm not out os lurkdom: I'm Becky, full name Rebecca (which I kind of hate) I'm the youngest in my family and the only girl. (yeah I get spoiled :) I am not married and I have no children – yet. I'm a future adoptive momma to at least one little girl. I only tell the story of how I know that to my best buds though. I LOVE how open your adoptions are and I hope to have that kind of openness after Future Hubby and I adopt.

    Anyway, that's me in a nutshell. I love your blog!

  6. Shalee says

    I have learned it's ok to blog the ugly stuff. Life isn't always packaged beautifully, and I used to think I could only post about the happy, fun things. Sometimes a post from a more vulnerable place is fine too. I always like to see that others have tough times too.

  7. Ashley says

    Blogging has taught to trust – when I finally share things I get such good responses. It was also taught me to have faith in humanity and that there are so many people who can help, you being one of them.

    I also think Google Reader has killed comments. No more going to blogs – the posts just "show up all the time" (ditzy).

    Thank you for sharing all that you do and encouraging so many of us in so many ways!

  8. DMN says

    Love # 9 and 10.

    Writing is my outlet also! LOVE to write! I recently had some family drama and I vented on my blog. My husband's brother and his wife kept asking us to switch our daughter's sealing date. From the day we got her in foster care we talked about having her sealing on her first birthday. They kept asking and asking (I mean like 4 to 6 different times) for us to switch the date so it would be on the same day as their kids baptism. When she read my venting she flipped out on me. oh well, life goes one.

    Staking (can be) okay. I know too many people going private because of weirdo's out there. I heard someone say, "There is someone in Brazil looking at my blog so I went priv." What is the person in Brazil gonna do? Fly to the US and track you down???? I just watermark my pics so people can't steal them! And I always give credit where it is due! I hate stealing!!!

  9. sabra allen says

    I have learned to love my kids more and appreciate them more. When I started blogging my friend told me to check out one of her friends blogs, which happened to be about how she gave birth to a baby that passed away and she also has a little boy with a heart condition. I just couldn't believe it, so now I am a blog stalker and check in on their family and others with their similar situation. I hope that doesn't sound weird, but yes, I just have found myself so grateful for my kids and my family. Our health is such a blessing and not all families are so lucky. Also, I have learned to really take the time to post because it is my journal and my kids will look back and hopefully appreciate it!

  10. The Wendler Family says

    If you change your blog from public to private, people stop commenting, or reading your blog altogether…

  11. Ms. S says

    I have learned that #6 and #7 are true. Especially the meanness. I've learned that people can hate you so much from what you write that they're willing to write anonymous emails to your employer full of lies trying to get you fired. It's sad that people are so insecure about themselves they have to drag you down to feel better about their own shortcomings. Or people are so passive aggressive they feel the need to tattletale.

    However, I've met some incredible people through blogging. I've made some good friends. So I guess that makes dealing with the trolls almost worth it.

  12. StefanieJinelle says

    I was reading your blog stalking is okay. I enjoy blog stalking thoroughly. Sometimes it gets me into trouble and I find out things that I don't want to read sometimes. I get really heated when I read anti-adoption blogs and I have to keep myself off of it or else I am about ready to use my fingertips as machine guns on my keyboard. I define words can be deadly. We have met at an adoption walk and I have a picture with you. We are facebook friends. I'm a birthmom and placed a little girl a year ago. And I'm sharing with you that I peed my pants in the 8th grade. Hanging out with the fab 4 waiting around to take turns after school to pee. I was last and I laughed so hard. My punishment was I had to sterilize my friends stool that I peed on and I have many magnificent nicknames such as Wetsy Betsy. And Senorita Flat Buttox. I have no butt and a baby did nothing for my curves. Curses. Haha.

    I feel as though we have bonded via blog comments and not through facebook. Even though I could "like" every single thing you post. :)

  13. Seamingly Sarah says

    I so agree that facebook has killed blog comments! So I'm here to fight against it! =) And I agree with the rest too.

  14. Amy says

    Blogging has helped me be more self-aware as well as being more aware of others. It has helped me learn that I love writing and I am not as bad at it as I always thought. It also has helped me get out of the house to do something new or have interesting conversations with strangers. I never used to have conversations with strangers (like the grocer or mailman, etc.) but after reading some hilarious posts by friends I realized how much I have been missing out on, so blogging has helped me overcome some shyness or self-doubt or whatever.

    Thanks for your blog btw. I love it and I have emailed links to some of your posts to friends and family before who know perty much zilch about adoption. My husband and I are just starting the process and are very intimidated and excited, so it is wonderful to have great blogs to read about other people's experiences and love of adoption.

  15. Shane, Meg, CJ and R-Baby says

    I felt myself respond emotionally or with a smile or laugh to every part of this post! Loved it. All of it. (for example, when you said "to the moon and back," I instantly said "and back and back and back and back" in my mind because CJ and I always tell each other that endlessly when one of us tells the other "I love you to the moon and back." And I think I finally feel okay about blog stalking because you have given me your blessing! lol!

  16. Kelly says

    I've learned that I like to blog for myself more than anyone. I've referred back to old posts on my blog for the past few years and it's an excellent reference guide.

    Your blog is great, Lindsey. I do agree that comments aren't nearly as plentiful as they were before everyone in the world joined Facebook, but I'm a fan of that medium too. I know you're a blog star, and get zillions more comments than most, and I've left plenty for you, so hopefully you'll still feel the love, even though there may be fewer these days. xoxo

    p.s. One time when I was reading your blog and saw that you were using capital letters, I was so excited that you finally got over your lower case only phase, then I realized you were copying something from someone else's blog post. Ha ha. It's your thing. I did get a kick out of your brothers take on it.

    p.p.s. Your photo holding the R sign is so dang cute! Your blue eyes look amazing.

  17. zoo keeper says

    facebook has killed blog commenting
    I KNEW there was a reason no one comments….it can't be that i'm lame!

  18. Jyl Johnson Pattee says

    Tears dude! I love this post, because it calls out so many wonderful parts of this crazy world we live in. And, because it reminds me of how lucky I am to have met you. I love your influence and the legacy you're leaving with the work you're doing. Your voice has impact.

    And… thanks for the shout out. Such a welcome surprise to start my weekend.

    I heart you and all that you are!

  19. Linder says

    Ahhh… I think Google Reader has killed commenting! I have you on my reader and always think to comment and then I don't. So today I'm doing it! Love this post!

  20. Amy says

    i love these points – especially the lesson you hope to learn to notice the little things and write them down.

  21. c jane says

    Blogging has taught me that my tongue in cheek over the top persona doesn't always resonate with everyone. Shoot.

    I love you Mrs. R thanks for this post!

  22. Carmen says

    I completely agree that facebook has killed blog comments. I miss getting comments on my blog, but I will continue to blog anyway for myself and my family. I love your blog and appreciate the insight you give to those of us in the adoption/infertility world.

  23. Anonymous says

    reading blogs has taught me that hate is never good. but some people will hate you for your comments no matter how well intended.

  24. Courtney says

    I really like this blog. I really like this post. I am going to refer to it whenever I am told I can't blog stalk :)

  25. Stacey says

    I really like this post! I think what blogging has taught me is that I am not good at prioritizing. If I have time to blog I should have time to fold the cloths that are sitting in my dryer :)