The Open Adoption Project | Compromise and Jealousy

Open adoption is one of my favorite things about my life.

I love the relationship that I have with each of my kids’ birth moms and, more importantly, I love that each of my kids have a close relationship with their birth moms.

When my youngest son’s birth mother, Joniece came to visit last week, we spoke at length about our relationship and what makes it tick. Then, we decided to answer questions on video from The R House Facebook Community about our relationshop. Lots of fun!


What is your biggest compromise in your open adoption?



Do you get jealous of one another in your open adoption?



In this video, Joniece makes reference to her blog. You can read it here: “Mistakes” Becoming Miracles.


You can view all the posts in this project by following the Open Adoption Project tag or by checking out The R House’s YouTube Channel–just look for the yellow and white background.

We also hope that you will share your experiences in the comments. We’d love to hear about how you handle compromise and jealousy in YOUR open adoption.



  1. Ashlee says

    Wow, i wish that we could have a relationship like your with our sons BirthMom. We try to send stuff and keep in contact, but never hear anything back.

  2. Kira says

    Love the story about Gavin wanting to marry you, hilarious!

    These posts made me think about my own children and jealousy in adoption with birth parents. I have never felt jealous, but I find myself trying to be very sensitive in the things I say and pictures I send to hopefully not make their birth parents feel jealous. Like, sometimes I feel awkward sending pictures of just me with one of my kids to their birth mother, or of my husband with my son to his birth father. I guess it is kind of silly. I have a great open adoption with both my kids birth parents, but this isn’t something we would openly talk about like you can with yours. Different dynamics, ages and situations in our adoptions. So talking jealousy, I’m a bit jealous that you and Joniece have a relationship that is so great, that you can openly talk about these types of topics with one another :)

  3. Rachel says

    I’ve stopped by here before, and not revisited often. Your belief/faith system is different from mine, and somewhere in there I made assumptions, or focused on the differences, and while I didn’t comment regarding those, I dismissed this blog as a source. I am truly sorry for that. I’ve been missing out on a fabulous resource about open adoption. Watching you, Lindsey, and Joniece, interact is wonderful and I see two women modeling what I hope my son’s other mother and I continue to do as our son grows. Thank you both for sharing this, it is inspired.

    • Lindsey says

      So, what your are saying is that you dismissed anything I wrote here because of my religion? Whoa.

      Glad you came back! Happy to have you and I hope you continue to have a wonderful relationship within your open adoption?