If you wake up on Mother’s Day and think that you should be pampered and spoiled and celebrated to the nines, you’re probably going to have a miserable day.
If your happiness on this day depends on the flowers you receive or accolades written in over-priced cards, you’re going to be disappointed.
If a successful Mother’s Day depends on the kids not fighting, not yelling at you, and basically just being perfect little angels….well, you will probably go to bed feeling pretty bummed out.
My husband and my kiddos always go the extra mile on Mother’s Day, but it’s never a “perfect day.” After all, we don’t have a perfect family, but we do have some pretty great perfect moments:
- My 3-year-old bringing me my glasses like he had just found priceless treasure and knew he was going to be praised for it.
- My 1-year-old putting her head on my shoulder just to snuggle for an extra minute.
- My 9-year-old explaining that he forgot the Mother’s Day gift he made me at school, but a huge smile spreading across his face when he told me he would bring it home on Monday.
- My 7-year-old looking up from his video games like 5 extra times and saying, “Happy Mother’s Day, Momma.”
- My husband cooking an incredible meal with all my favorite fancy dinner foods along with his hysterical, “Awesome wife, awesome life” card.
There was still fighting and general chaos. There were still messes. I still got thrown up on by a sad little girl and ran to a screamer at 3 AM because a little boy’s coughing wouldn’t stop.
You know, just motherhood stuff. Imagine that, mothering on Mother’s Day. ;)
Years ago my own mother taught me the coolest lesson on how to have the best Mother’s Day every single year. It’s foolproof. And it is so simple.
She said to me, “Stop thinking about yourself.” She spent Mother’s Day celebrating us, her kiddos. “You all are my treasures,” she would say.
Now, my momma is the biggest advocate of self-care so that you can better care for your family. She’s a wonderful example and cheerleader of that…but on a day wrought with so many expectations, thinking that the day should just revolve around you will lead to a miserable Mother’s Day. I promise.
Yesterday I turned this idea up a notch (for me, at least) and I had an incredible Mother’s Day! Can I share my secret with you? It’s probably something you’ve been doing for years, but it was a really cool thing for me to participate in this year. How I wish I could turn back time and do this during those dreaded Mother’s Days when we were actively battling infertility.
I bought some extra flowers. I made a few extra bracelets in the Charmed studio.
I snuck those bracelets into my diaper bag at church and handed them to a few women in my congregation that I was so grateful for. These women have loved me and cared for me. They have nurtured me and my family during our move. I handed them the bracelets and thanked them for nurturing my spirit.
Those extra flowers were delivered to friends and family who have mothered me and helped me mother my family. We chatted and laughed together on Mother’s Day. These women have helped me be the mother I want to be with their support, listening ears, and safe place to vent.
I made sure the birth mothers of my kiddos knew that I loved, respected, and remembered them on Mother’s Day in whichever way they will let me celebrate them. (Each of them are different.)
Know what? My heart was so happy at the end of the day. I love this legacy that my mom passed onto me! I got to celebrate the women who were making my motherhood more rich. The extra hugs, the snuggles, and the sweet cards from my husband and babies along with the incredible dinner my husband made…all of that was the icing on the cake. I didn’t expect it, but I sure did appreciate it.
So, why the heck am I writing this weird post-Mother’s Day message?
If you went to bed last night secretly feeling a little disappointed, maybe try out celebrating the women in your community next year. Share your love, appreciation, and admiration for the women who are enriching your motherhood. Allow your kiddos to be the imperfect people that you tell them it’s okay to be and just love those perfect moments of an imperfect life together.
Maybe, just maybe, this is the secret to a happy life too…