This weekend I have been thinking about the first time I held Tyson and Gavin.
When we arrived at the hospital on the day Tyson was born, Mr. R rushed to Tyson’s birth mom’s side. She had had some complications and he wanted to make sure she was okay. He ran (literally) to her room.
I got to the doorway and stopped not wanting to upset Nicole or disrespect her in any way.
Within a couple minutes, Nicole’s mom asked me if I wanted to hold new little Tyson. My heart was screaming yes, but I heard myself say, “I’d love to if it is okay with Nicole.”
A couple minutes later she handed me little Tyson right there outside Nicole’s room.
I wept. Tears of joy and bliss streaked me cheeks. “This is what motherhood feels like,” I remember telling myself. Although I wanted to hold him forever, there was an entire family in that hospital room that was hurting and this was their time with Tyson.
Before we left for the evening, this picture was snapped.
The first time I held Gavin the world stopped turning. His dimple and wild black hair captured my heart. My husband took this picture of 100% pure motherhood exploding joy when I first looked at his face.
I love these of Mr. R loving his new baby …and I adore how tenderly he is moving the blanket away from Gavin’s face so you can see him in the family picture. Melts my heart to see daddies and their babies.
When I think of these bittersweet days surrounding the birth and placement of our kids, I am overwhelmed with the amount of love that each of their extended birth families have for them. My kids have an army of amazing, loving and supportive people praying for them, cheering for them and worrying about them.
I recently got a comment from a reader who was struggling with infertility. I could feel her heartache as she asked, “How do you continue your biological line through adoption?” I told her that you don’t, but you do get to celebrate a new line and a new biology and it is choice. Although each of my kids did not look like my husband and I when they were born, I recognized their spirits. They felt like home to me.
And that’s the miracle of adoption.
You can see that amazing moment in this video from a birth mom documenting her story. Let your heart sing at minute 1:25.
This couldn’t have been better timing. Our expectant mom gave birth to a healthy baby girl last night and it was magic holding her for the first time. Tears of joy, sadness, heartbreak and faith in that hospital room. It felt right.
beautiful. Made me think of my own boy’s births and the first time I held them. I see in your beautiful faces the joy that we felt. And “recognizing their spirits” is the perfect description. As you know Boston joined us through adoption and Gray through biological, so I was pregnant with Gray when Boston was age 8 mos – 16 mos. Boston was too young to understand babies so we never tried to even explained it to him. But through my entire pregnancy, starting before it even showed, Boston would lift my shirt and kiss my stomach all the time. After Gray was born he never did it again, even though my stomach was just as big. He “recognized” Gray’s spirit immediately. I think that Boston and Gray being brothers was just as important to Heavenly Father’s plan for our family as us being their parents.
Ironically I was laying in bed last night thinking of the same, the first moment holding each of my kids and the bittersweet moments spent with our children’s birth families. Those days are so vivid in my mind that it feels like they just happened last week.
Love this. I can relate in so many ways and am so grateful for the beautiful way my family has been built.
I love the pictures of Mr R with his sons.
Oh man. Me too.
Brings back memories of holding my son for the first time. I love the way you describe that you “recognized their spirits and it felt like home” cause that is exactly how we felt. Beautiful pictures and video :)
Wow. Beautiful and very touching!
Beautiful post. I do believe it will happen again for you!
I HOPE so, Becky!
Have you ever seen Kami from NoBiggie.net’s picture of her holding her baby boy for the first time? It makes me WEEP every single time…let me find it for you….http://www.nobiggie.net/2009/06/night-we-will-always-remember.html tell me that didn’t make you cry?
Beautiful LOVE it!! I recognized each of my children’s spirits too. BAWLING!!!