the last two days were spent at the Families Supporting Adoption conference in Salt Lake.
we attended classes on how to help your birth mother heal, transracial adoption, a birth mother panel, the value of educating your extended family about adoption, how to pass legislation, an interesting panel with an adult adoptee, her parents and her birth mother …and much more.
it was really encouraging to be around so many people who have the similar stories as ours.
it was hysterical to be able to joke with Glen Beck about infertility to a crowd that really appreciated it.
it was heartwarming to see many families growing through adoption and couples anxious to adopt.
in one of our classes, the teacher gave an analogy.
the car analogy.
a young man and a young woman are out on the lawn outside of a very busy street.
the child they are both responsible for runs out into the street. at the same time the couple becomes aware that there is a car coming at a very high rate of speed. there is no chance that the child will not get hit. the car is coming much too fast.
the couple as four options.
1. they can do nothing and watch the child get hit and killed by the car. the psychological memory of this inaction burned in their minds forever.
this is abortion.
2. they can both jump out and sandwich the child between them to brace the child for the collision. if they can stay together, there is minimal injury to the child. however, there is a 80-90% chance that they will split upon impact.
this is couples that try to stay together and/or get married because of a crisis pregnancy.
3. one of the parents can jump out in front of the car by themselves. injuries to the child are more substantial.
this is single parenting.
4. one or both of the parents and run out into the street and push the child out of the way of the speeding car and into the outstretched arms of a couple on the other side of the street.
this is adoption.
however, even with adoption, the birth parents always get hit by the car.
i imagined myself in this analogy, watching this wreck happen. mr. r and i were not the cause of the wreck. we are begging to be part of the solution with open arms and hearts. once tyson was pushed out of the way of the speeding car, we watched his sweet birth mother get hit by the car and his birth father turn his back and walk away.
but, what do we do?
do we take the child and run away?
do we rush to her side to try and help her?
do we call 911?
how do we help this birth mother heal?
collisions like this are happening everyday, in every stake and in every neighborhood.
for every 16 adoptions there are 1,000 unwed births.
for every 17 adoptions there are 1,000 abortions.