From love to love.

Just shy of three weeks ago, Josh and I were invited to be in the delivery room for the birth of our daughter.

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Today I felt this undeniable prompting to share the miracle of my experience. In fact, I was doing the dishes and the feeling came to my heart to “put the scrub brush down and go write while the littles are napping.” It was music to my ears. Sage, our daughter’s birth mother, and I have been talking about this post for weeks but it just wasn’t coming together until now.

But how do you share the experience of someone else’s labor and delivery? I can only share how I felt and what Kim Orlandini photographed by Sage’s invitation. All of this was shared with Sage’s blessing and urging. So here we go …raw emotions and all.

First of all, I was nervous. In my experience, adoptive parents don’t really fit in at the hospital.

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I felt helpless watching Sage suffer.

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I felt guilty.

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I felt worthless.

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And yet, here is this beautiful vibrant woman who is literally entrusting a piece of her heart to me. I would do anything for her and not just because of her sacrifice but because I loved her deeply and recognized her soul. She trusted me. And I trusted her. This experience wasn’t about me. It was about her and her daughter. It was about what we would share together in this sacred space. I had no idea what I was about to experience.

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I would laugh with her.

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I would dance with her. (Badly.)

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I would walk with her.

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I would rub her feet until I passed out.

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I would worry over her.

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I would listen to her. Both what was said and what didn’t need to be spoken.

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I would weep with her.

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I would pray with her.

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We would feel the veil between heaven and earth tear away as this perfect spirit took her first breath.

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We would feel the humbling presence of angels.

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I would cherish the honor of being chosen to be her mother. Sacred.

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I would write these precious moments on my heart so I could whisper her story to her again and again. “My sweet Norah Hope. This is a story of how you went from love to love…”

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I just met you and this is crazy.

Two and a half weeks ago, our lives changed forever when I answered my phone.

My long-time friend Jessa called me via FaceTime. I answered and asked her how her recent retreat for birth mothers went. We chatted for a minute and then she introduced me to her friend Sage. They were sitting next to each other at the kitchen table.

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I listened, a little confused, as Sage explained to me that she was due in 3 weeks and had selected a family that she loved. However, she discovered that they were not on the same page as far as openness was concerned and she realized they were no longer the right family for her and her baby. Then she started asking me questions about how we do openness in our family.

And then my brain began to work. She was considering our family. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Oh boy.

We chatted and laughed and were candid with each other about our hopes, fears, expectations, etc. We cried a couple times and made plans to meet for breakfast the next morning with my husband as well.

A few minutes later, I get a text message from my bestie Kim telling me she wanted to work out together in the morning. I agreed and told her about my breakfast date the next morning.

Little did she know that my big boys got in an actual fist fight in the middle of the night about snoring (???) and Gavin crept into my room and wasn’t feeling well. It was a long night. I tried to cancel our workout in the middle of the night via text but accidentally sent the text to my mom in Virginia.

Soon the sun started to peek up over the mountains and Kim knocked on my door. We went to the basement for a half-hearted workout until I told her I needed to get my kids ready for school and hop in the shower.

“I don’t quite feel like going home yet. How about if I make your kids breakfast while you jump in the shower?” Sure. No worries.

As I am towel drying my hair, I hear yelling downstairs from Kim.

WHAT IN THE WORLD?

Something about burning eggs and a fire. I throw clothes on from a pile on the floor and run downstairs to see what is going on.

My mind was blown. Josh headed downstairs a few minutes later for the surprise of his life too. (I think he is still in shock.)

Kim is a professional photographer and was in on this announcement the whole time. She caught each of these incredible moments …I can’t get enough of them. Sage put this beautiful video together and chose the song. AH! I love it so much. Tell the world we finally got it ALL right. I choose you. 

As Sage stayed and chatted with our family for several hours there was a tangible peace that permeated our house. Contentment and peace in the midst of excitement. The feeling of home. Sage was the first to point it out. “Do you feel that?” she beamed. “It just feels right.”

The more we chatted, the more I recognized Sage. Her spirit and her heart were so familiar to me. When I saw her, my soul just kind of let out a sigh of relief. It was like we fast forwarded a best friendship several years into the future.

We spent as much time together as possible–she stayed over night a few nights, we went to visit her family, we went to doctor appointments together. It was all happening so fast and feeling so right.

Baby Girl was due December 6th, but she decided to come early.

She has her birth mother’s sweet spirit and gorgeous lippies.

We have each other’s hearts.

Sage and Norah // True Love

There is a story here of miracles, of listening to your heart, of timing, of eternal love, of heartache, of never giving up, of finding the feeling of home. I wish there were words adequate enough to describe the last two weeks. But I just don’t have them yet.

Tell the world we finally got it ALL right. I choose you. 

A reminder to keep your open adoption promises.

 

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by Ken Garff Honda of Orem. I was compensated for it, but the opinions expressed are all my own. I love these guys so much. In fact, just mention my blog and it will get you $500 off any car purchase (new, used, trade in, lease, etc.) at Ken Garff Honda of Orem.

 

I just got back from the post office.

I mailed a little update package of photos, letters and drawings to each of my kids’ birth moms. It’s one of my favorite things to do. With life getting busier and busier as the kids get older, I have to get creative on where and when I put these packages together.

My latest workspace is in the minivan over the center console between the front seats. Turns out it’s the perfect place to hand-write a letter, label some photos and put together a little craft during football and t-ball practices.

Open adoption
 

Yes, life with little ones is busy, but we should seriously reexamine our schedules if we are too busy to keep our open adoption promises–even if it’s taking a few minutes to text some photos, make a little video or send an update email.

My challenge to all you adoptive parents out there is to take a minute or two and send an update of some kind today! It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be there.