Early this fall I answered a phone call from my daughter’s birth mom while in our jewelry studio.
She was sobbing hysterically. She had just learned that she was pregnant again. I stepped outside into the crisp autumn air and I cried with her. I cried because she was upset. I cried because she had some hard choices to make.
She was exploring all her options. For months I listened with my heart breaking for her as she agonized over every pro and con of every pregnancy option available to her. There was no easy answer. No automatic answer. So much pain. So much love. So much motherhood. So many tears.
She asked me to throw a gender reveal party for her involving A TON of pizza on cake plates. I was honored that she would ask me, that she trusted me enough to ask me.
During this time, my husband and I exhausted ourselves trying to empower her with resources and information so that if she decided to parent, she would have the support that she and her baby needed. We never want anyone to feel like adoption is their only choice.
In the decade that I’ve been involved adoption, I’ve never witnessed the soul searching and soul crushing decision making process. All of our other kids’ birth moms found us after they had made the tentative decision of adoption. Honestly, it rocked me to my core. I held her hand as she had her first ultrasound when she got her first look at little June Bug. I was there when she shared the ultrasound with her parents.
I gained a deeper respect for the choice that my kids’ birth families made and the pain they started experiencing long before placement ever happened.
On Thanksgiving Day, she told us that we had better get a home study completed. So many feelings!
On Christmas Day, she posted the following on social media:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Coming June 10th,
A baby is due.
Redfern, Party of 7?! Are you kitten me right meow?
If I’m being honest with you, it’s taken me a little minute to wrap my brain around this new little person coming to our home. I think I internalized too much of Sage’s agonizing decision making process but I don’t know how to only feel things halfway. I’m not really a fence sitter about anything. lol
But here we are in full baby mode! So humbled. So grateful. So excited to be the mama of 5 beautiful souls.
Love you, Sagey. Here we go!
*Posted with Sage’s permission.