I just met you and this is crazy.

Two and a half weeks ago, our lives changed forever when I answered my phone.

My long-time friend Jessa called me via FaceTime. I answered and asked her how her recent retreat for birth mothers went. We chatted for a minute and then she introduced me to her friend Sage. They were sitting next to each other at the kitchen table.

Sage and Linds First Convo

I listened, a little confused, as Sage explained to me that she was due in 3 weeks and had selected a family that she loved. However, she discovered that they were not on the same page as far as openness was concerned and she realized they were no longer the right family for her and her baby. Then she started asking me questions about how we do openness in our family.

And then my brain began to work. She was considering our family. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Oh boy.

We chatted and laughed and were candid with each other about our hopes, fears, expectations, etc. We cried a couple times and made plans to meet for breakfast the next morning with my husband as well.

A few minutes later, I get a text message from my bestie Kim telling me she wanted to work out together in the morning. I agreed and told her about my breakfast date the next morning.

Little did she know that my big boys got in an actual fist fight in the middle of the night about snoring (???) and Gavin crept into my room and wasn’t feeling well. It was a long night. I tried to cancel our workout in the middle of the night via text but accidentally sent the text to my mom in Virginia.

Soon the sun started to peek up over the mountains and Kim knocked on my door. We went to the basement for a half-hearted workout until I told her I needed to get my kids ready for school and hop in the shower.

“I don’t quite feel like going home yet. How about if I make your kids breakfast while you jump in the shower?” Sure. No worries.

As I am towel drying my hair, I hear yelling downstairs from Kim.

WHAT IN THE WORLD?

Something about burning eggs and a fire. I throw clothes on from a pile on the floor and run downstairs to see what is going on.

My mind was blown. Josh headed downstairs a few minutes later for the surprise of his life too. (I think he is still in shock.)

Kim is a professional photographer and was in on this announcement the whole time. She caught each of these incredible moments …I can’t get enough of them. Sage put this beautiful video together and chose the song. AH! I love it so much. Tell the world we finally got it ALL right. I choose you. 

As Sage stayed and chatted with our family for several hours there was a tangible peace that permeated our house. Contentment and peace in the midst of excitement. The feeling of home. Sage was the first to point it out. “Do you feel that?” she beamed. “It just feels right.”

The more we chatted, the more I recognized Sage. Her spirit and her heart were so familiar to me. When I saw her, my soul just kind of let out a sigh of relief. It was like we fast forwarded a best friendship several years into the future.

We spent as much time together as possible–she stayed over night a few nights, we went to visit her family, we went to doctor appointments together. It was all happening so fast and feeling so right.

Baby Girl was due December 6th, but she decided to come early.

She has her birth mother’s sweet spirit and gorgeous lippies.

We have each other’s hearts.

Sage and Norah // True Love

There is a story here of miracles, of listening to your heart, of timing, of eternal love, of heartache, of never giving up, of finding the feeling of home. I wish there were words adequate enough to describe the last two weeks. But I just don’t have them yet.

Tell the world we finally got it ALL right. I choose you. 

Be Courageous | National Adoption Month

In years past, I’ve issued a challenge to my readers for National Adoption Month.

It usually involved an increase of adoption content on social media …you know, to increase awareness. But, this year I am issuing a different kind of challenge. And I am super excited about it.

The challenge is this: BE COURAGEOUS.

20 Seconds of Insane Courage

There is so much fear in adoption. Fear of the emotions. Fear of the reactions. Fear of letting yourself live in the moment. Fear of the hurt. Fear of the grief. Fear of making the wrong decisions. Fear of just letting go and loving unconditionally. Fear of unkept promises.

Maybe you’re afraid to love an expectant parent who has reached out to you because you are not sure if she will choose adoption and you don’t want to get hurt.

Maybe you’re thinking about adoption for your baby but you’re not sure if it’s right for you or your child. You’re afraid to even look into it.

Maybe you’re not sure if you should send that email letting the adoptive family you chose know that you’d like to discuss an increase in contact with them and your child.

Maybe you’re holding a grudge because something didn’t work out the way you had hoped.

Maybe you’re wondering if you should reach out to your biological family. What will your reunion be like?

You never know unless you try, reach out, pull the trigger on that prompting.

Make that call.

Send that email.

Write that text.

Ring that doorbell.

Give that hug.

Forgive that misstep.

Just do it.

Be courageous. Say the thing your heart has been nudging you to say.

Insane courage. Embarrassing bravery. That’s what I’m hoping for this month.

How will you be insanely courageous this month?

Run Happy | This post is not about running.

I ran two half marathons within 7 days of each other this month.

The R House Half Marathons

Kim and I trained and ran them both together. Well, we run together for the first few miles and then we usually run solo. In a time of my life where I am rarely alone–it’s the running solo that I truly love. (Although, Kim is so fun, isn’t she?)

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The first race was rough. Rough, I tell you. 

It wasn’t a pretty. It was through my city. No awesome scenery. Most of it was on a road dodging traffic.

The scenery (or lack thereof) really got to me around mile 8. I started spiraling.

Do you ever spiral? You know, where you just start thinking about everything that STINKS about your current situation? And it just builds and builds and builds until you are bawling? I’m sure you NEVER do this.

My left foot felt like it had a pulled muscle about an hour into the race.

We ran past a pasture of horses and I wanted to puke. The smell!

The course was on/off/on/off the road and then sidewalk and then road again. It was so frustrating especially with a sore foot.

We ran about .5 of a mile past a tall iron fence where the sun was flickering through each of the slats and I thought my head was going to explode.

I almost got hit by a car. (Lady wasn’t watching the police who were directing traffic.)

I needed water.

I didn’t know what mile I was on.

And so on. And on. And on. Spiral of unhappiness.

AND THEN this runner flew past me looking really strong. Looking effortless! He was wearing his hat backward. THIS hat.

Run Happy. Run Happy. 

As soon as I read it, Vanilla Ice started pumping through my headphones.

All right stop, collaborate and listen. 

You know what, Vanilla? I will do just that. (He is so wise.)

Stop the spiraling.

Collaborate with myself.

Listen to reason.

“Choose to be happy, Lindsey,” I told myself. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

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Sure, this race wasn’t going as smoothly as I had envisioned it. Parts of it stank, literally. I was limping along. But, I was IN THE RACE! I was doing it. One foot went in front of the other. Miles started to tick away.

I wrote this post in my head between Gu shots and power ballads.

And then, wouldn’t you know it, the finish line kind of came out of no where and there was my family cheering me along, waiting for me to finish.

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Sometimes life stinks. Sometimes we don’t get what we think we “signed up for.” Sometimes we think it’s just not worth it and we want to give up. We are limping along, bruised and broken.

And then someone who has more experience runs in front of us with a reminder to be happy. They show us that it can be done and done with grace.

Choose to be happy.

Run happy.