About Mrs. R and The R House

 

Hi there.

My name is Lindsey Redfern or Mrs. R. Welcome to my house, The R House.

 

Who is Mrs. R?

I grew up in the DC Metro area to incredible parents that probably walk on water when no one is watching. I have three younger brothers who are equally as fabulous and leave me one very proud big older sister. I consider myself a Virginian that has lived in Utah since 1997.

I am a Mormon. I even served a full-time 18 month mission for my church on Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah. I went to Brigham Young University and am a huge Cougar fan. Rah, rah, rah-rah-rah!

My husband, Josh Redfern, and I recognized each other at BYU from our childhood. We “dated” for 5 years before getting married but there were two missions thrown in there and a “Dear John” Letter. (It’s a long story.) Mr. R is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in therapy and adoption. He is also an awesome chef and seriously hilarious. He spoils me …even though I “Dear John-ed” him on his mission. He’s forgiving like that.

Together, Josh and I are sterile and that’s okay. Sometimes infertility slaps us in the face, but mostly we just go on with life. It is what it is, but we have seen many mighty miracles along the journey.

We have three beautiful children through the miracle of adoption. And yes, I do believe that adoption is a miracle especially when there are other options out there. Our big boys are 16 months apart and each have their own incredible story as does our baby. However, there are some common threads in each of their stories: Each of their birth mothers were wildly in love with them and still are. Each of their birth mothers chose adoption for them so that their child would grow up with a mom and dad that loved each other and were committed to each other. Each of their adoptions were very hard–there were a lot of tears on all sides. Each of their adoptions are very open to this day.

I believe in open adoption.

 

Why The R House?

The R House started in 2006 when I went to visit one of my college roommates in Chicago. “What is this weblogging that you speak of?” And thus, The R House was born. When we were in college, this same roommate had the brilliant idea of renaming the houses on our street. Two doors down was “Your Mom’s House,” next door was “Their House” and then there was “R House.” Our goal was to confuse people when they would call and tell someone where they were. For example, if they were telling someone that they were visiting us, they would say, “I am over here at R House.” You see the appeal. We even had a large capital letter R on our front door.

All of those roommates are married now and I am the only one who ended up with an R for their last name so naturally I inherited the name The R House and R that hung on our front door. It now hangs in my family room with a collection of other Rs.

 

Temple Day Collage

What does “sperare semper” mean? (This was a large part of my previous design.)

It’s Latin for “to hope always.” It’s our family motto.

We also have a family theme every year, well since we started doing it in 2009.

 

 

Why do you blog?

When Josh and I were diagnosed with infertility/sterility, I felt totally alone. When we pondered adoption and wondered if it was the right path for our family, I also felt alone knowing only one other family in my immediate circle of friends who had adopted. I needed more.

I have so many “in real life” friendships that started on the Internet. I firmly believe in the power of connectivity.

I write to selfishly connect with others, but also to allow those who are in similar situations to know that they are not alone in their struggle. In recent years, I have reached out to birth parents and individuals who were adopted to share their stories and help educate the world about adoption. Do you have a story to share? Click here.

I write because I want to make a difference. I want to bring hope to those who may be suffering …from whatever. I want to celebrate open adoption. I want to educate and uplift. I want to spread goodness. I want to radiate happiness.

We all have hardships. We all have things that didn’t turn our the way we had planned. We have sorrow, pain, longing, loneliness, questions, yearning, loss, heartache, etc. This includes me.

I’ve tried to take those hardships and flip them. “It’s better to look up.” It’s more golden. You will see that message subtly illustrated in my new design. (Isn’t Kristin from Designer Blogs so very talented? She’s also an infertility survivor.)

If you have or are currently battling your way through the jungles of infertility, please know that your emotions are safe here. I have the most incredible, loyal and compassionate readers. I want couples who struggle with infertility to know that they are not alone on this adventure. There is so much peace in knowing you are not the only freak out there. ;)

I am aware that not everything about adoption is rainbows and glitter. I am very well educated on the topic. All adoption is rooted in loss and associated with grief. I understand that. In other corners of the Internet, you may find sites that focus on topics that I consider to be negative, but you will not find that here. That doesn’t make me better or worse than those other sites, just different. I have a different focus and I am a positive person. That said, I do think there is reform to be made within adoption. My blog reflects this. All of this.

 

What else do you want to know?

I run an adoption consulting firm called The R House Adoption Consultants with my husband. I am co-owner with my two dearest friends of a handmade sterling silver jewelry shop called The R House Couture and an all-natural soap company called Spotted Owl Soap.

I’m the Editor-in-Chief of Adoption.com where I work with the amazing people at Elevati to change the face of adoption worldwide. I also run the social media for The Healing Group–a therapy clinic especially for women and their unique needs.

I am the former Adoption & Foster Care contributor at ‘Or so she says… and a former contributor at Smitten By. I used to work as MommyCast‘s Community Manager as well as a reviewer with SassyScoops.

I am a proud member of UbiChamps, Pollinate Media Group, Clever Girls Collective, Izea Media, Social Spark, Mom It Forward Blogger Network, Social Media Chimps and Lijit Advertising. I work with Blogportunity on occasion and I’m also an affiliate with Amazon.

I have previously served on on the local board for the West Valley Chapter of Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) as the Community Outreach chair. I have also served on the National Board for FSA running their blog and presenting at their international annual conference 5 times from 2008-2010. I have presented at regional FSA conferences in Arizona, Washington, Utah and Colorado and at the Utah Adoption Council’s (UAC) annual conference. I’ve also presented and been the keynote speaker at local adoptive couple retreats.

I helped launch Adoption Voices while serving as their Community Manager in 2009.

I taught elementary school for 4 years (although I had 6 sets of students) before I got to become a full-time mom.

Oh yeah, I despise chocolate ice cream.

And everything else you ever wanted to know (or didn’t want to know) you can find out here.

And that’s about it.

From R House to yours, Welcome! Thanks for reading and come back often.

Much Love,

 

Lindsey