Today is my day to love on you in the Gestation Celebration!
Today I wanted to say thank you. Thank you first, for being my friend. We had a rocky start, did we not? …and yet, somehow we remained friends! (Meant to be!) Thank you for forgiving me.
I also have to share that I think you are quite brilliant. Our private tutoring session and consulting session in the Spring of last year quite literally changed my life. You have no idea. I have been on a mission ever since. (But, you know this since I email with you all the time about it. Your patience astounds!)
And? I love you. Watching someone you care about suffer with infertility is a terrible thing. As you engage in their healing and hurt, it acts like a mirror to your own life. I relived my infertility right along with you. I was disgusted with some of the insensitive comments on your blog right along with you–but man, emailing them back and forth to each other was pretty fun even though I cried right along with you.
The truth is, when you want to add to your family so badly and it is out of your control–the pain is poignant no matter what other joys are dancing around you. Hope can be fleeting and infuriating at times, but it is also the only way to wake up and roll out of bed. (Getting dressed still remains optional though.)
I am glad that there was a part of you that never gave up hope. When I got your shocked email that you were expecting, I literally did a happy dance for you in my office chair with an audible SQUEE for good measure! I rejoiced with you. There is something so great about seeing that kind of joy in a friend you have watched get beat up by infertility. I was even more happy for you because I knew how much it hurt to get there.
Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come.~Joseph F. Smith
As an advocate for understanding in infertility, thank you for writing about your journey–your continuing journey. You are still in the Infertility Sisterhood. I don’t care what people say to you. You still belong because, unlike most of the world, you understand the hurt. You are better for it. You have lived the agony. Those scars don’t just go away with a baby bump. Infertility changes you forever. It stays with you forever. I am proud to call you my sister–my Pregnant Infertile Friend.
Soon you will be welcoming this little Mozzi Lady into the world. May she always know the fight it took to get her into your arms. May she always know that she is the perfect little thing that so many of us cheered for with you.
May she always know that she is a miracle.
Much, much love,