I recently watched a show about zombies.
During this certain zombie apocalypse, one man isolated himself.
And he went absolutely crazy hyper-focusing on one thing.
He lost all his relationships.
He lost his personality.
He lost himself.
Even when people he knew DID come back around, he was so lost inside his own grief, regret and pain that he didn’t even recognize them.
Although he was never bitten, he too became a zombie.
My point is this: Don’t isolate yourself.
If you are struggling (with placing, hoping, waiting, wondering, whatever…) find a listening ear. Find a friend. Reach out.
A couple weeks ago, a good friend and infertility survivor sent a brave message out to a few friends asking for help. She was having a hard time and needed “her species”.
A group of us went to lunch.
We chatted.
We laughed.
We were frustrated together.
We gave each other loving advice, one friend to another.
We shared our joys.
We shared our concerns.
We held each other’s babies.
This is my baby snuggling face. Hee hee.
I believe suffering alone in silence, isolating yourself, does not do anyone any good. It denies you validation and support from people who genuinely know how you feel as well as robs your friends the opportunity to serve you.
Reach out and find a listening ear no matter what your struggle is.
Don’t become a zombie.
Excellent advice! I could always open up to my husband about my feelings, and he opened up to me as well. I really appreciate the friends who gave me a soft place to fall when things got rough.
LIKE! yep- perfect. That person became mentally ill! Which in a lot of ways is like a zombie.
This is such a great post, exactly what I have been thinking of lately. Thanks for bringing so many people together amidst their suffering.
Thank You! This is exactly what I needed to hear! :)
I really really appreciate this post you have no idea! I feel like a complete zombie,I needed to hear this today. If anyone wants to chat in Utah let me know! I will be there BUT I want to giggle too. Sometimes talking about adoption can be somber but cleansing but its good to laugh! I want to laugh! We should set something up… im just say’n!
amen. i’m in this situation. i feel like i’m drowning. i need my people, but all my people are in utah.
This is so ridiculously true of how i handled our infertility in the beginning! I suffered in silence and really isolated myself. It took a big toll on my relationships with friends and most especially fertile sisters in law. Makes me so sad now looking back cause it’s been hard trying to rebuild relationships once i “woke up” from my zombie stupor. That’s the best fertility advice i was given and will give…reach out, make friends who can share the journey since they’re on it too.
you should make a forum on here, to help people find their people :)
I love that idea! After reading this, I was totally ready to hop on a plane to Utah. More than a handful of my friends are pregnant. They are all being super sensitive, and I’m super excited for them. But. But I’m sad for me. Secondary infertility sucks dirt and rocks, and it is hard to find someone who a) understands, b)is still sane, and c)is okay riding the ups and downs of it with me without trying to force fake happiness.
Still thinking it would be fun to come to Utah though. =)
oops i hit enter too soon. it’s just hard to find a good place to talk about adoption online, and i don’t know about others, but i don’t have too many “IRL” people to discuss it with. if anyone has suggestions of forums, i’d love to hear them! :)
100% agree!! This is why I am so obsessed with our adoption playgroup. It’s the best thing in the world to have a group of friends who literally know EXACTLY how it feels to struggle with adoption, infertility, and all the on going issues that go along with those things. Best. Friends. Ever!
Yes! I love this post, Lindsey. It can be applied to so many different scenarios.
I am really horrible at doing this.