last night i was laying in bed thinking about it. my heart started to race wildly. i threw the covers off, jumped out of bed, sent a few emails, did some searching …and wouldn’t you know it?
T.A. (the woman who tried to scam us in january) is out there scamming again.
i strongly believe that scamming is an addiction for her and like any addict, relapses seem to be part of the recovery process. i truly hope this is the case with T.A. she has to know that what she is doing is wrong and there must be nights when she lies in bed and just feels trapped. we have all been there with things that burden us, haven’t we?
my feelings for T.A. are complex. it is so strange. there is part of me that actually wants to protect her and help her to have a productive life. then there is this part of me that feels rage on behalf of the families she is lying to and the birth mothers she is imitating–birth mothers who really made this courageous choice. it’s mockery really–mockery of things that i hold sacred.
one thing i learned at the Utah Infertility Awareness Week Kick-off Event is that infertility is a disease …and T.A. is trying to scam a certain group of people with a certain disease.
let’s change some of the wording a little bit, shall we?
let’s say that i am terribly ill. i have faulty kidneys and am looking for someone to donate a kidney to me so that my quality of life will be improved. T.A. enters my circle of friendship and announces that after getting to know me better, she would love to give me one of her kidneys. i am beyond grateful and try to celebrate her and her generosity as much as i can. i begin to plan for the happy future.
we set a date for the surgery and everything is going according to the plan she and i created. then one drama after another starts to happen–she is going to lose one of her kidneys and can’t donate any more, then she is going to donate it again, then she doesn’t talk to me any more, then comes back with a great story about her friend dying or her family not being supportive and says she sorry and she is back on board …meanwhile the surgery gets closer and closer. surgery comes and goes. she didn’t show up to the hospital. she won’t answer calls. eventually she says she will think about it again. and so on and so on.
this is what an adoption scammer does–they feed on those of us that suffer from the disease of infertility. it is evil. it is wrong.
that said, i want to warn you about T.A. a little more. she is about 5′ 5″ and has bright red hair.
and she will lie to your face just like she did to mr. r and me–remember we took her out to dinner and then drove her to her house.
i also happen to have connections with people in her ward and people that work with her mother. they have all be contacted by me or a friend of mine personally and made aware of the situation. taryn’s mom will be notified about this recent activity again this week–face to face.
it’s a sad story, right? sad for everyone.
but, if the information i have can help another family (it is up to 10 families that i know about that have been scammed by her) protect themselves against her, i am going to share it.
so, those of you that sent me hate mail last time i posted this story–don’t bother again. i still know how you feel. your voice has been heard. i understand that you think i am being UNChirstlike. i get that. save your energy, i am still going to post what i know. my God and i are on great terms. don’t worry about judging my soul. it’s in good shape right now. ;)
i have never posted a photo of her on my blog–mostly because i feel for her parents and siblings. i also have never posted her last name. if you are concerned that you may be in contact with her, email me and i will send you everything i have–pictures, conversations, screen shots, birth father info, etc.
when all this went down in january, my brother (an attorney) told me to contact the authorities and press charges. he told me how, what to say and whom to call. r adoption attorney told me we could have a case also because we had actually spent money on her (dinner, ice cream, gas). mr. r and i felt strongly that we were there to help her get help and that was it. (i have to insert that this is one of the most interesting experiences that i have ever been part of. usually Heavenly Father warns me about those that are trying to hurt me in one way or another and tells me to run away. in this situation, He told us to run to her. Heavenly Father, as far as i know, has never asked me to help someone what was actively trying to deeply hurt me. it was a first time thing for me.) we know for a fact that she did attend some counseling at least and that her mom was involved. we didn’t press charges because we didn’t feel good about it at the moment. part of me regrets that now that i know she is still hurting people. but, perhaps that wasn’t my role in all of this.
if you want to read the full story of what went down with her and the r house, how we got in contact, how we took her to dinner, how we drove her home, how we found out she was fake, how i confronted her and interviewed her and what happened next …here are the links:
dirty rotten adoption scammer: the story of T.A.
how T.A. found us, getting to know each other, meeting for dinner, the birth father, discovering she was a fraud
dirty rotten adoption scammer: the confrontation
calling her and telling her i knew she was scamming us and our friends. i interviewed her with her consent and wrote down the whole conversation.
dirty rotten adoption scammer: others were hurt too
the stories of some of the other families that were scammed by her as well–the total is up to 10 now.
guest blogger: chelsia
written from the perspective of a recovering adoption scammer. chelsia is the girl that scammed my friend kim (sensei). very interesting.
guest blogger on adoption scams: brenda
brenda is the expert. she has had at least 15 different women try to scam her. she shares warning signs and things we should all know as we try to find the real expectant parents that are trying to really find us in adoption.
learning to trust again
how i am getting over the deceit. blah. such a weird thing to be scammed.
families by divine design
hopefully this can give your aching heart some hope if you have been scammed. there is a plan for each of us.
tomorrow i will post some sites you can go to to further protect yourself and those that you love against adoption scams.
and finally, to taryn: honey, i know you read this blog because i have your IP address. you have got to stop this. talk to your mom again. i know she wants to help you. then, take your phone and your computer and destroy them. it is too much of a temptation for you. you need to be wire-free. hoping you can find a happy place and stop hurting others. we still pray for you.