dirty rotten adoption scammer is at it again

in the last week i have started to get emails/facebook messages about T.A. who tried to scam us in january.

last night i was laying in bed thinking about it. my heart started to race wildly. i threw the covers off, jumped out of bed, sent a few emails, did some searching …and wouldn’t you know it?

T.A. (the woman who tried to scam us in january) is out there scamming again.

i strongly believe that scamming is an addiction for her and like any addict, relapses seem to be part of the recovery process. i truly hope this is the case with T.A. she has to know that what she is doing is wrong and there must be nights when she lies in bed and just feels trapped. we have all been there with things that burden us, haven’t we?

my feelings for T.A. are complex. it is so strange. there is part of me that actually wants to protect her and help her to have a productive life. then there is this part of me that feels rage on behalf of the families she is lying to and the birth mothers she is imitating–birth mothers who really made this courageous choice. it’s mockery really–mockery of things that i hold sacred.

one thing i learned at the Utah Infertility Awareness Week Kick-off Event is that infertility is a disease …and T.A. is trying to scam a certain group of people with a certain disease.

let’s change some of the wording a little bit, shall we?

let’s say that i am terribly ill. i have faulty kidneys and am looking for someone to donate a kidney to me so that my quality of life will be improved. T.A. enters my circle of friendship and announces that after getting to know me better, she would love to give me one of her kidneys. i am beyond grateful and try to celebrate her and her generosity as much as i can. i begin to plan for the happy future.

we set a date for the surgery and everything is going according to the plan she and i created. then one drama after another starts to happen–she is going to lose one of her kidneys and can’t donate any more, then she is going to donate it again, then she doesn’t talk to me any more, then comes back with a great story about her friend dying or her family not being supportive and says she sorry and she is back on board …meanwhile the surgery gets closer and closer. surgery comes and goes. she didn’t show up to the hospital. she won’t answer calls. eventually she says she will think about it again. and so on and so on.

this is what an adoption scammer does–they feed on those of us that suffer from the disease of infertility. it is evil. it is wrong.

that said, i want to warn you about T.A. a little more. she is about 5′ 5″ and has bright red hair.

and she will lie to your face just like she did to mr. r and me–remember we took her out to dinner and then drove her to her house.

i also happen to have connections with people in her ward and people that work with her mother. they have all be contacted by me or a friend of mine personally and made aware of the situation. taryn’s mom will be notified about this recent activity again this week–face to face.

it’s a sad story, right? sad for everyone.

but, if the information i have can help another family (it is up to 10 families that i know about that have been scammed by her) protect themselves against her, i am going to share it.

so, those of you that sent me hate mail last time i posted this story–don’t bother again. i still know how you feel. your voice has been heard. i understand that you think i am being UNChirstlike. i get that. save your energy, i am still going to post what i know. my God and i are on great terms. don’t worry about judging my soul. it’s in good shape right now. ;)

i have never posted a photo of her on my blog–mostly because i feel for her parents and siblings. i also have never posted her last name. if you are concerned that you may be in contact with her, email me and i will send you everything i have–pictures, conversations, screen shots, birth father info, etc.

when all this went down in january, my brother (an attorney) told me to contact the authorities and press charges. he told me how, what to say and whom to call. r adoption attorney told me we could have a case also because we had actually spent money on her (dinner, ice cream, gas). mr. r and i felt strongly that we were there to help her get help and that was it. (i have to insert that this is one of the most interesting experiences that i have ever been part of. usually Heavenly Father warns me about those that are trying to hurt me in one way or another and tells me to run away. in this situation, He told us to run to her. Heavenly Father, as far as i know, has never asked me to help someone what was actively trying to deeply hurt me. it was a first time thing for me.) we know for a fact that she did attend some counseling at least and that her mom was involved. we didn’t press charges because we didn’t feel good about it at the moment. part of me regrets that now that i know she is still hurting people. but, perhaps that wasn’t my role in all of this.

if you want to read the full story of what went down with her and the r house, how we got in contact, how we took her to dinner, how we drove her home, how we found out she was fake, how i confronted her and interviewed her and what happened next …here are the links:

dirty rotten adoption scammer: the story of T.A.
how T.A. found us, getting to know each other, meeting for dinner, the birth father, discovering she was a fraud

dirty rotten adoption scammer: the confrontation
calling her and telling her i knew she was scamming us and our friends. i interviewed her with her consent and wrote down the whole conversation.

dirty rotten adoption scammer: others were hurt too
the stories of some of the other families that were scammed by her as well–the total is up to 10 now.

guest blogger: chelsia
written from the perspective of a recovering adoption scammer. chelsia is the girl that scammed my friend kim (sensei). very interesting.

guest blogger on adoption scams: brenda
brenda is the expert. she has had at least 15 different women try to scam her. she shares warning signs and things we should all know as we try to find the real expectant parents that are trying to really find us in adoption.

learning to trust again
how i am getting over the deceit. blah. such a weird thing to be scammed.

families by divine design
hopefully this can give your aching heart some hope if you have been scammed. there is a plan for each of us.

tomorrow i will post some sites you can go to to further protect yourself and those that you love against adoption scams.

and finally, to taryn: honey, i know you read this blog because i have your IP address. you have got to stop this. talk to your mom again. i know she wants to help you. then, take your phone and your computer and destroy them. it is too much of a temptation for you. you need to be wire-free. hoping you can find a happy place and stop hurting others. we still pray for you.


Comments

  1. Nikki says

    This is a perfect example of loving your enemies. Now I really know what that means. Thanks. Keep listening to the Spirit.

  2. Lewieville says

    Thank you for the warning. My friend sent me your link, we currently have our profile on Its about love and it is nice to be warned about this stuff in advance. We have been through most everything with adoption, I don't want this to go on the list! And anyone that would send you hate mail…well how christlike is that :)

  3. viridian says

    Hi, I have been reading your blog for about a year and am up-to-date with this story (except the last chapter). My gut tells me you are doing the right thing.
    V, an adoptive mom to three

  4. ColleenaMareena says

    So sad. I hope Taryn truly gets the help she needs, and moves on with her life so that she can stop cruelly hurting people. I'll pass this on to my friends who are hoping to adopt.

  5. Christine says

    Our local LDSFS sent an email to everyone on their email list warning us about Taryn, including her last name and details about what she does to scam people. Hopefully by spreading the word she won't be able to scam people for much longer!

  6. Ann Michelle says

    thank you for sharing. this past year we too had a run in with an adoption scammer. It has been really hard to learn to trust again. especially with internet searching. it is nice to hear others thoughts and ideas on how to move forward with faith

  7. LeMira says

    It must be scamming season! We were scammed by a woman on Adoption Voices just last week. Thank goodness for another woman who knew all about her and warned me before it went on too long; either way, it felt like daggers. I was empty for a few days. Thanks for the warning. I hate to think of others feeling the way we did, and we weren't even in it for very long.

  8. Shane, Meg, CJ and R-Baby says

    Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that she has slipped back into it. It's just so sad for her and her family, not to mention the couples she has an effect on. I'm glad you are in a position to help warn people. I'm glad to hear (from the above comment by Christine) that LDSFS is spreading the warning so that hopefully less people will be hurt. Oh dear. Prayers for all.

  9. Courtney says

    As someone very lucky not to have dealt with a scammer, I appreciate the information. It's nice to know what to watch out for. And I'm glad you have been able to help others in your own way :)

  10. Val says

    my husband and I were just taking about this…and we think it's great that you are warning people.
    Taryn is a young girl–and she needs love and help. But actions have consequences! And at some point hopefully she'll learn that it is not acceptable and she can't get away with it.

    My husband's words "I'm glad we're being warned, just like we'd want to be warned about any predator."

  11. Beth Willmore says

    I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this Mrs. R. I'm new to your blog and it breaks my heart to think that this type of thing really happens. Don't listen to the "hate mail". You're doing what's right for your family – and you're also helping lots of other families to not become victims of hers!

  12. Brooke and Cody says

    After we were scammed by Taryn I let the Ogden agency know as well as the Centerville agency and they assured me they would get the word out about her I'm glad they did.

  13. Lara says

    I wondered…
    Last week I got an email from the Idaho Falls FSA about a scammer named Taryn who used to be in the Provo/Orem area. I wondered if it was the same girl.

    So crazy. I can't believe she's back at it so soon.

  14. the luckiest says

    so sad. its a good thing that there are people like you out there who can open our eyes. thank you!

  15. The Ross Family says

    Thank you so much for sharing this story!! My husband and I are just starting the adoption process for the first time, and it's great to have a warning of what to watch out for.

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  17. Karine says

    I don't understand how you could get hate mail. I mean you flat out said way back when, when you found that Heavenly Father told you to help her. You put your hurt aside and tried!
    I think your statement Heavenly Father usually tells you to run away … but this time it was to her speaks volumes.
    Thanks for being so strong!

  18. Dr. David Richards says

    I'm sorry to hear of your frustrations. Keep your head up. There are good people in this world too.

  19. Angela says

    When I lived in West Jordan, UT and worked as a CNA, there was a girl there who matches this description! I’ve never heard the name Taryn before meeting her, so this is an odd coincidence. I don’t even know where you live, but I hope it’s not her. When I knew her 4 years ago, she was not married, but lived with her boyfriend and their baby and would take breastfeeding/pumping breaks. I hope it’s not her.

  20. Jennifer says

    Just want you to know she is at it again. This time on an infertility support site I belong to. She even went so far as to lie and say she had been beaten and raped by her bf and was in the hospital. Sounds like she needs some real mental help!!