Children need more than bare minimum.

I like to brag about the birth moms of my boys because they are rad. All of them. 


Brilliant, gorgeous, big-hearted and well-spoken …especially when it comes to defending their choice of adoption.

I love to hear them talk about their experiences with adoption–the good and the hard.

Recently my oldest son’s birth mom tagged me in the following post on her Facebook wall. I can only imagine the conversation that sparked such a post.

I had tears running down my cheeks.



“It’s not that I couldn’t have raised my son :: I put his needs above my my wants and gave him what a child deserves, a home.

A home with a mother and father, not the flavor of the week.

A home where the parents will be parents. Not until the baby goes to sleep and has grandma and grandpa step in.

A home home, not just a temporary place to stay.

A home where the parents are mature. Mature enough to know what is important, have values, and can set a good example to send their family down the right path.

A home that is financially stable and not worrying where the next diaper will come from.

A home that is educated. Educated enough to answer homework questions through grade school.

A home that children can respect and want to replicate.

I could go on forever but I know at 17 and even now, most of these things I could not provide for a child.

Children need more than bare minimum.

I am thankful for the Redferns everyday that they are able to do all this and more while including me in every step of the way! <3″


Whoa. Powerful.

How lucky are we to have her in our family?


*Posted with permission.




    • Lindsey says

      Oh man. YES. You are preaching to the choir. I can’t tell you how many times I have read it myself! :)

  1. says

    Love this! Love this! Love this! Can I get an Amen? Amen! I’m sure she will and has taught many along her way.

  2. says

    Wait…”All of them”? Not “Both of them'”? DId I miss something?!?!!?

    Great post, by the way. Always great to hear from your sweet birthmoms. :)

  3. Tamra says

    the WORLD needs to hear this! it is such simple and obvious logic yet so few can understand it.

  4. says

    This post makes me so happy. She is wise and brave. I’m so happy that she has so much gratitude for your ability to give your child a healthy home and family environment. Thank you for sharing.

  5. says

    Powerful. Powerful. And I agree with others…this needs to be expanded into an opEd or something…more need to read this.

    You’re doing great work, Lindsey.

  6. says

    And she can feel this way because you treat her with respect. You let her see first hand the beauty of his family. She is allowed an active role in his life. That my friend is another reason she can feel confident in her decision. Her son lost nothing, he simply gained another family. A family that allows him to love her too.

    That is a beautiful adoption.

  7. says

    We adopted our first son from Russia. We are watinig now to adopt a baby girl from the U.S. We’ve been watinig since June and it continues to be a hard wait but nothing like it was when I was childless and watinig for our son. Enjoy your sweet children & keep trusting that God will lead you to your little one :)Our blog is (and our blog with story of our son’s adoption is