From love to love.

Just shy of three weeks ago, Josh and I were invited to be in the delivery room for the birth of our daughter.

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Today I felt this undeniable prompting to share the miracle of my experience. In fact, I was doing the dishes and the feeling came to my heart to “put the scrub brush down and go write while the littles are napping.” It was music to my ears. Sage, our daughter’s birth mother, and I have been talking about this post for weeks but it just wasn’t coming together until now.

But how do you share the experience of someone else’s labor and delivery? I can only share how I felt and what Kim Orlandini photographed by Sage’s invitation. All of this was shared with Sage’s blessing and urging. So here we go …raw emotions and all.

First of all, I was nervous. In my experience, adoptive parents don’t really fit in at the hospital.

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I felt helpless watching Sage suffer.

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I felt guilty.

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I felt worthless.

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And yet, here is this beautiful vibrant woman who is literally entrusting a piece of her heart to me. I would do anything for her and not just because of her sacrifice but because I loved her deeply and recognized her soul. She trusted me. And I trusted her. This experience wasn’t about me. It was about her and her daughter. It was about what we would share together in this sacred space. I had no idea what I was about to experience.

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I would laugh with her.

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I would dance with her. (Badly.)

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I would walk with her.

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I would rub her feet until I passed out.

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I would worry over her.

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I would listen to her. Both what was said and what didn’t need to be spoken.

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I would weep with her.

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I would pray with her.

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We would feel the veil between heaven and earth tear away as this perfect spirit took her first breath.

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We would feel the humbling presence of angels.

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I would cherish the honor of being chosen to be her mother. Sacred.

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I would write these precious moments on my heart so I could whisper her story to her again and again. “My sweet Norah Hope. This is a story of how you went from love to love…”

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Adoption Good News | When adoption’s done right

 

My How Adoption has Blessed Your Life series shares good news happening in the adoption world from all sides of the adoption triad …or just offers a paragraph or two on how the love of adoption is blessing lives. If you’d like to participate, just send me an email. Submission guidelines here. Enjoy!

 

Today’s Adoption Good News comes from Alice, an adoptive mother. This is her cute family…

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My name is Alice Anne. My husband Xavier and I adopted our son Kal-El in 2011 and we’re on the path to adopting again! I can’t even begin to describe how EXCITED I get about adoption and how often I talk about it. When adoption is done right (ethically, for the right reasons, and with the child in mind), it can be so beautiful – an answer to prayers on the side of the birth family AND on the side of the adoptive family. Open adoption can make the experience even more beautiful – the coming together of two families over the love of a child.

 

Adoption is beautiful and terrifying and emotional and bitter and sweet all at once. I’m nervous – but oh so excited – to be a part of another adoption someday soon. I am so grateful that my family is being built this way.

 

I am forever grateful for Kal’s birth mother, who was courageous enough to make the decision that was right for her and right for her son. She was determined to do the right thing. We stood in awe as she signed those papers in the hospital, amazed at her strength while she was still recovering from an emergency c-section and grieving the child she was losing. My husband is not one to cry, but he came *this close.* The love he has for her is something he cannot even express in words to this day.

 

She made him a father. She made me a mother, and for that reason I will always cherish her like a sister. I’m glad she’s a part of our lives and that we can visit her and talk to her like family (because she is). I’m having a hard time imagining that we could be blessed the same way twice – it was so amazing the first time around. But I can’t wait!

 

 

Did you miss the last Good News? A birth mother expresses shares of a necklace gave her the courage to share her story.

Read ALL the Good News moments.

 

 

The truth about birth moms from birth moms

Being part of a community that chooses to see adoption in a positive light has brought so many amazing people into my life.

While I believe and understand and have experienced that adoption is rooted in loss, I know that joy can still be found for all members of the adoption triad. In the words of the great philosopher Katy Perry, “Now I’m floating like a butterfly. Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes. I went from zero, to my own hero.

 

It’s as if Ms. Perry wrote this song especially for our community. Thanks, Kate! (We’re on a nickname basis, obvs.)

Two ladies that I loved listening to “ROAR” are Haley (below left) from Adoption: Share the Love and Ashley (below right) from Blessings In a Basket.

Birth Mothers Redefining the Stereotype

They are wonderful champions of empowering women; I love their work. They’ve recently started a new series called, “Redefining the Stereotype: The truth about birth moms from birth moms”.

I asked these power houses why they were moved to create this new collaborative project and was once again touched by their words.

Ashley and I decided to come together and create a project surrounding the stereotypes that are often placed on Birth Parents. We feel as though we are somewhat out of the “norm” when it comes to Birth Parents and we can be very blunt and honest with our emotions and opinions while still respecting the completely selfless choice that a Birth Parent makes. We believe that this blunt honesty combined with our love for adoption can truly change the way so many view Birth Parents and what they go through. We hope that this video series will allow people ask the tough questions and allow us to share our opinions and open their minds to a new perspective.”

-Hayley Kirkpatrick, Adoption: Share the Love

 

As a birth mom I felt that I had to always fight against society and the way that I was viewed because of my actions and my decision to place a child for adoption. Through my journey I have had the great honor of meeting others, who like myself believe in life after placement. I knew that there was a better way of living and I knew that I was not what society pegged me to be. Haley and I have so many similarities in our vision and perspective about adoption. We have a great deal of love and passion, but with that we are open and honest. We are not afraid to talk about the uncomfortable topics and we are straight forward. We realize that we are not the “typical” birth mom that society has given the spotlight to, we believe we have a great deal of experience and we are here to educate, discuss and shake up the way that the world views adoption and birth moms. We are redefining the stereotype and we hope that in the process we can encourage others to step up and be bigger, better, stronger than what we get credit for!

-Ashley Mitchell, BIB Founder

 

With that in mind, let me introduce you to the first episode of their new project where they answer the question, “Why did you give up your child for adoption? Is it because you don’t WANT the child?” Listen to their answers in the video below.

 

Thank you Ashley and Haley! Thank you for your voice!