Another T.A. Scam Story Part 1

My husband and I were scammed by a girl named T.A. in January of 2010.

Even though we figured it out over the course of just a few days, the psychological effects still bother me. Trusting people in adoption is still difficult. I blame T.A. for that. She is a predator.

Since this happened to us and I first wrote about it on my blog, FOURTEEN other families have come forward realizing that they too were scammed by T.A., the same girl who scammed us.

There are many similarities between all the stories that have been shared. With the permission of the latest victimized family that I am aware of, I share this info for you so that you will be aware that T.A. is still out there and still tormenting families.

So evil if you ask me.

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We got in contact with Taryn when we decided to try to adopt privately in conjunction with going through our agency and see which one happened first.

We asked our family members if they could help us out with this by posting on Facebook that we were trying to adopt and see if anyone knew someone who was placing so they could let us know. My sister-in-law contacted us shortly after this request to tell us that someone she went to H.S. with had placed a baby and would love to help us network to find our baby. That’s how I got Taryn’s number. This was towards the end of 2010.

I was so excited, I called her right away. We started talking and Taryn told me that her best friend Alyssa happened to be pregnant and was trying to decide if she wanted to place or parent. Taryn told me that Alyssa kept asking Taryn questions and was trying to get Taryn to decide for her but Taryn wanted Alyssa to make the decision on her own so she hadn’t been talking too much about adoption with Alyssa lately.

She said that she would talk to Alyssa and see if she would like to view our profile and talk with us but that they were in a fight so she didn’t know when she would be able to find out. Taryn told me all about the baby she had placed a year and a half ago. How hard it was but how she knew she did the right thing. Her daughter’s name was Hailey and the adoptive parents were Chelsi and Jordan and the Birthfather was her abusive boyfriend at the time Alex.

He fought the placement for 14 months until he finally met Hailey’s parents and saw them together and once he saw them together he knew she was theirs. Taryn had not been with Alex since she was pregnant with Hailey and was currently dating someone named Tanner.

I texted with Alyssa shortly after my phone conversation with Taryn. Since Taryn had a bad experience with a woman she was considering placing Hailey with and she had to change her number and everything Taryn told me that Alyssa wanted to text Taryn who would forward her messages to me then I would text Taryn and she would forward what I said to Alyssa. So that’s how it went.

Alyssa played the violin and when I was younger I played the violin, how great, I thought. She asked where my husband went on his Mission and her Dad happened to have gone to the same place. She asked what my husband did for a living and what I did. When I told her that I stayed home with my kids she asked if I had a degree. I told her that I started college but then decided to take a break to put my husband through graduate school and then we started our family so I am planning to go back someday.

She asked what I wanted to do and I said I loved Sign Language and teaching children and wanted to go into Interpreting for the Deaf and Elementary Education and she happened to be learning Sign Language and wanted to go into Interpreting for the Deaf as well. She said Taryn is partially deaf and is fluent in Sign Language and that’s how she got interested in it.

Anyways, it went on and there were even more similarities. I thought how perfect this situation would be for both of us. She even asked us deeper questions like if we would ever force our children to go to church when they were teenagers if they didn’t want to and stuff like that. This was our first time talking to a prospective Birthmom or Expectant Mother and I thought it went very well.

Alyssa had a younger sister named McCall who got pregnant at 16 and decided to parent.  She was encouraging Alyssa to parent as well.  Her parents were supportive of her placing. Her boyfriend’s family were also very supportive of her placing. And her boyfriend didn’t care either way from what I remember.

Alyssa decided she wanted to place and was certain it was what was right for this baby.  She had narrowed her search to us and one other family but still wasn’t sure who she wanted to place with.  Alyssa found out a couple weeks later that she was expecting a baby girl (which is exactly what we were hoping for since we have 2 boys already).

She would tell me about the book she was making to give to the baby at placement so she would know who her Birthmom was and why she placed her and what she hoped for her in life and how much she loves her.  I thought that was so nice and was glad that this child would have that and knew how much it would mean to her.  Alyssa still didn’t know if she wanted to place with us but we kept in contact through Taryn because Alyssa still didn’t want her number given out to anyone until she was sure.

Alyssa was hospitalized for high blood pressure a couple weeks after she found out what she was having. Alyssa had frequent seizures as a child but hadn’t had any for a long time but while she was in the hospital she began having seizures again and they ended up having to take the baby super early (I don’t remember dates or an exact timeline of things anymore, after you read all of the drama we experienced with Taryn you will understand why I have a hard time remembering such details anymore).

She had the baby in the middle of January 2011 but wasn’t due until March sometime from what I remember. She named the baby Savannah and she was in the NICU fighting for her life. She had a problem with her heart from being so premature and needed heart surgery. She wasn’t breathing or eating on her own because she was so early and so small but she was alive.

Alyssa decided to parent and wouldn’t talk to anyone about adoption anymore. McCall and Taryn were both pleading for her to place and were telling her there was no way this was the best situation for this little baby but Alyssa wouldn’t hear a word of it.  (McCall changed her mind and was supportive of a placement because she knew how hard it was to be a single Teen Mom and knew how much harder it would be with a baby so sick.)

Taryn had no idea how Alyssa could change her mind and decide to parent after she was so sure that placing was the right thing.  She said that when Hailey was born and she saw her and held her she wanted to keep her so bad but she knew she couldn’t because she wasn’t hers and she knew placing her was the best thing and she knew she couldn’t change her mind even if she wanted to.

Later we would find out that the father was Taryn’s fiance at the time all of this was going on. Taryn and Tanner had gotten engaged by this time. She was devastated to find out he was cheating on her with her best friend. This is the reason Alyssa gave Taryn for wanting Savannah so bad, Alyssa and Tanner were going to get married and parent together because Tanner wanted his baby so bad and didn’t want her to place. So that ended Taryn and Alyssa’s friendship.

Alyssa moved in with Tanner to his parents house and he began to abuse her but she stayed anyways.  Her parents didn’t want Savannah around that type of environment and either did Alyssa but she wouldn’t leave so her parents were raising Savannah.  It was hard to find out that she wanted to parent and kept Savannah but then didn’t end up caring enough to raise her and it still wasn’t the best situation for this precious baby that could have had a home with us.

 

 *The rest of this story will be posted in a series over the course of this week.

Comments

  1. Jessica Olsen says

    Unbelievable. So sorry that some have to go through so much horrible drama. Drama. Don’t us adoption advocates have enough?

  2. Mary says

    I’m confused… so there was no baby right? She made all this up? How is she scamming people, is she getting financial assistance from prospective adoptive parents? sounds terrible!

    • Lindsey says

      This kind of scamming is called “emotional scamming”. No money is/was given, you are correct. All of it is made up. Just wait until you get to Day 4 of this series. Mind blowing.

  3. Anonymous says

    This happened to us for 7 months our agency first thought this girl was a scammer but then said it was wrong of us to back out of our situation because it we made a commitment to the girl to adopt her baby. Now…. I don’t even want to go through an agency again. I don’t want to be online and I am not sure how much I want to pursue adoption again. If you have not gone through seven months of scamming hell don’t judge. I told my husband it was much worse than any of the multiple miscarriages I have had. I feel spent. Yes I want to add to our family, but honestly I do not know how to pick my feet up again. (maybe when I am ready to open to the chance of another scam but hope for the best). Previous to this experience I loved adoption so much and I could not understand the families that would pull out of the process do to too many scams that they had gone thought. I thought, they just don’t love adoption enough to quite like this. Shallow I know, i was not trying to be shallow I had just not gone through it myself to know what it felt like. This is still recent for us and I am not sure when I want to do it again??

  4. says

    I hate this!!! Why can’t anything legally be done to stop her?? I get confused just reading it because it’s so full of lies and crap. What can I do to help Linds? I want to bring more awareness to this situation so we can try to stop it.